CONTINUING BONDS: BUILDING ENDURING CONNECTIONS IN LOSS AND GRIEF - Applying ‘Continuing Bonds Theory’ to promote compassionate and healthy grief.

The push to “let go”, to “get over your loss” and to “move on” have finally been accepted as unhelpful strategies when working through loss and grief. The Continuing Bonds Theory (Klass, Silverman & Nickman 1996) has paved new understandings for the importance of connecting with ones’ loss and developing a new relationship with the loss. Although physically absent, the loved one or what has significantly been changed, remains present and impactful in the life of the bereaved.

With many decades of grief theory that focused on closure, acceptance, and moving on, it is no wonder that so many grievers feel awkward or judged about maintaining ties with their deceased loved one after a certain period of time.  Many now believe that healthy grief involves finding a new and different relationship with the person who is lost.  This one-day workshop will provide an opportunity to develop processes and new understandings when working with loss and grief in our client work.

Drawing on the work of Robert Neimeyer (2018) the ‘Continuing Bonds Theory’ of loss and grief will be explored with opportunities to creatively experience the skills of connecting to loss. Participants can experience and incorporate many practical concepts with practice in the skills of building continuing bonds with the people that have been lost through death or  with significant changes that have created loss in life.

A ‘Continuing Bond’ does not mean that people live in the past but rather it supports people to find ways of connecting to their loss without minimising or being debilitated by the experience. This offers an opportunity to bring lessons of the loss into the present moment.  This work invites people to work with the paradox of life and explores ways to make sense of the past, the present and the future. Losses create a tension of both an absence and a presence for the bereaved which cannot be ignored in the bereavement process. Participants will learn to appreciate, to practice and to incorporate this approach more consciously in grief support work.

Feedback form Beate's recent presentation of this material:

"Enormous value …. key area of my work to build on!"

"Clearly presented model with many opportunities to do activities which enhanced learning."

"I loved the presence of the presenter - no hubris or intellectualising."

"Being able to reflect on my own grief stories and to share current work related scenarios and receive feedback to work with those clients has been so very valuable."

"Beate has such expertise in this area and depth of knowledge."

"The wonderful ideas from the presentation will help me in my counselling work."
"The practical aspects and the model and practice makes sense when working with complicated grief along with tangible ideas for clinical practice and my own grief work are so helpful."

"Sensitive learning on how we can hold the paradox - the power of AND as a tool but is not a solution.  Our own tool kit.  Self Care.  The video were all wonderful and the for the last Video, I am very GRATEFUL."

"i learning many practical ways of helping clients create and engage with linking objects and developing confidence to work with grief from a continuing bonds perspective."

"Grateful to realise that my lived experience with grief is now supported by research."

"Presenter's knowledge and stories shared really deepened this day for me."

"Learning a new theory that I can use when counselling clients.

"I now understand so much more about helping grieving clients in a caring and constructing way."

"It was a good reminder of compassionate healthy approaches to help the client and the therapist."