Neurodivergent Friendly Couples Therapy (NFCT): Working with difference to resolve conflict and deepen connection

"The solution to disengaged neurodiverse couples is the NFDT model plus compassionate understanding of the challenges faced by people living in a world which does not cater to their needs, or way of operating. Never underestimate the strengths of your autistic or ADHDer clients."

Your existing skills may work well for many couples but Neurodivergence in one or both partners presents specific challenges and requires very specific skills. Without these skills, tolerance, and then love may be lost and your clients will likely take the same problems into their next relationship. This training will help you connect your couples who have different 'wiring' so they can develop strong, understanding and loving bonds that endure the challenges of difference.  

In this training program, you will learn the steps to use with the advanced empathy skills form Gottman Method, Motivational Interviewing and TEAM CBT to set your couples sessions up for success. Robyn will show you how to hear and accurately interpret both points of view and then connect with each, as the translator between two differing neural positions. You will learn the exact steps to help couples move toward each other, to translate and show them the skills.

Neurodivergent Friendly Couples Therapy (NFCT) is designed to help couples when one or both partners have a different way of processing information about the world and responding to that information. It is designed to be friendly, inclusive, and supportive for all those among us who are Autistic or have ADHD.  I acknowledge the insights of psychologist Monique Mitchelson and her Model of working with Autistic people and ADHDers in viewing differences with acceptance rather than as deficits needing to be fixed.  This training can help us all move toward being part of the solution, not part of the problem.

 NFCT has been evolving in response to many reports from distressed couples where some standard approaches to their difficulties only made them feel worse, even less understood and more despairing.  The therapy room becomes just another setting where neurodivergent people find it difficult to have their needs met, or to be shown understanding and compassion for their perspectives, or to even feel they can begin to be met on a level playing field.

 Frequently we learn that the single largest influence on successful therapeutic outcome is the relationship between the therapist and the client.  Consequently, this model explains and makes explicit the qualities of an effective therapist and the environment which needs to be created to ensure success with unconditional positive regard for both partners.  The goal is to help couples build happier and more fulfilling relationships by developing strategies that consider the unique strengths and challenges of neurodivergent couples.  The image of a hand is used as a memory aid as you learn how to deliver these tasks:

• Create safety and equality
• Share lived experience of neurodiversity
• Address motivation
• Teach skills
• Hand over the power.

Traditionally we were taught that autistic people have difficulties in understanding theory of mind.  At the center of NFCT is the alternative concept of double empathy.  Both neurotypical and neurodivergent couples may struggle to understand or value the other’s perspective.  This lessens the habit of blaming the other person, or seeing them as defective.  It is simply another example of difference.

This workshop will provide demonstrations of how to present information to couples, how to encourage effective communication and how to assist them to problem solve their own areas of conflict. Reference is made to tools of effective couples therapy and how to  further simplify these to be more accessible in times of heightened emotion and overwhelm.  We will also address the motivation for doing the work, and how to manage ambivalence about change. 

I have used John Gottman’s evidence-based model of the Sound Relationship House for over ten years to show the attitudes and behaviors of successful couples.  I extend that framework to systematise the components which are needed for therapists to deliver Neurodivergent Friendly Couples Therapy (NFCT).  This workshop will introduce you to the elements needed to assist couples build their own “Safe House for a Neurodivergent Relationship”. You will view demonstrations of many skills to use with couples as they are invited to consider what they would like to include in their own “Safe House. “

EXCLUSIVE FREE BONUS FOR LIVE EVENT ATTENDEES: Check the registration details page for more information.